Ever find yourself caught in the spending to impress trap, also known as 'Keeping up with the Joneses'? Listen in as we draw examples from celebrities like Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce to discuss this age-old phenomenon. We delve into the allure of maintaining a lifestyle akin to those around us, even when it's not financially prudent. From the luxury of rented restaurants to the appeal of matching home décor, we evaluate how these spending habits often mirror our social circles and the influence of social media on our financial decisions. We assure you, a high net worth doesn't always reflect financial health or stability. The lavish lifestyles of celebrities are not the benchmarks for your financial success. Instead, let's focus on individual financial goals and priorities. We dive into the importance of understanding what truly brings joy to your life and how it plays a role in your financial planning journey. Tune in as we discuss the importance of resisting the spending trap, focusing on your financial goals, and understanding that the path to financial stability is unique to everyone.
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Speaker 1:
Welcome to the Women's Money Wisdom Podcast. I'm Melissa Joy, a certified financial planner and founder of Pearl Planning. I'm Melissa Freidenberg, financial advisor. We dive deep into topics like work-life balance, financial planning, personal growth and the intricacies of the sandwich generation. Tune in for money conversations that every woman needs to have. Hello and welcome to the Women's Money Wisdom Podcast. I'm your host, melissa Freidenberg, and this week I'm going to be doing an episode on the all too common spending to impress trap, also known as keeping up with the Joneses, and what sort of inspired this podcast episode was an article Melissa Joy sent to me. We are both Taylor Swift fans.
Speaker 1:
I personally have been sucked into this Taylor Swift-Travis-Kelsey relationship and all that comes with it in social media and in the news. One of the things recently they've been talking about is Travis-Kelsey has been a big spender lately, starting with renting out entire restaurants for parties, buying new vehicles, and the latest is that he bought a new house. So I thought it would be interesting to kind of relate what's going on in their dynamics of their relationship and spending and sort of speculate, because of course we don't know. I am not personal friends with either of them and no one knows what's going on inside their head, but looking at this and kind of taking out some financial planning rules of thumb as well as some ways to kind of keep your desire to compete or compare yourself to others when it comes to material items and spending and share a few tips on how to control that, so it's very real. It's something that I personally struggle with sometimes. I definitely get sucked into the spending trap, if you will. So it's definitely something that I can relate to and I thought maybe our audience could as well.
Speaker 1:
Now, to be fair, both Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey both make a ton of money and they're both very well off. So certainly not judging if they take private jets, if they go on lavish trips or parties, rent out restaurants they probably both can afford to rent out restaurants like three days a week and they'll be fine. Obviously, travis Kelsey is in the NFL. He's one of the best tight ends in the history of the NFL. Recently he signed a five-year contract worth $46,842 with a $10 million signing bonus. His salary alone for 2023 is estimated to be $11,250,000. And that does not even include any income from endorsements and from the podcast that he has with his brother, who's also in the NFL. So he's not doing too bad. However, if you look at Taylor Swift and what her net worth is estimated to be, forbes just recently came out and said she officially met billionaire status. Her income alone for 2023 is estimated to be $345 million. This estimate does not even include the new concert movie that just came out that ranked in $65 million in advanced ticket sales alone. So both well off. They can afford to do a lot of cool stuff, buy a lot of stuff, but Taylor Swift's net worth is about 25 times that of what Kelsey is estimated at.
Speaker 1:
So I love this no-transcript Women just killing it. I love to see women breadwinners. Now they're just dating, but if they were to get together, long-term stay together, it probably be pretty hard for him to catch up with her. So what does that mean? Not just what does that mean in their relationship, but one of the things and the article was really talking about is this increased spending Spending to impress, and not just maybe we'll know. We don't know what's going on in his mind. Is it to impress Taylor specifically? Probably a lot of it. However, he's also just hanging out with a lot of A-list celebrities and people that just have a lot of money Not that his NFL buddies don't have money to burn either, but he sort of just kind of launched himself into a whole different stratosphere of money and wealth and status. So it sparked this idea for Melissa Joy and I of the age-old keeping up with the Joneses and how much this plays out in real life.
Speaker 1:
I see this playing out a ton, and I think social media is just totally adding fuel to this fire, right? So One of the things that I find my algorithm Suggested reels for me is Watching people just living their daily lives, right like waking up in the morning and making breakfast or making coffee. But I See these like luxurious homes and apartments in New York City with views of you know central park, and these people are just like getting up and they're making like the fanciest breakfast and coffee. They don't appear to be like going to work anywhere. They have like everything matching their Stanley Cup matches, their pajamas matches, their bedding matches, the you know kitchen counters and all the like matching drawer liners with just filled to the brim of stuff, right, like Consumers of that it's finest and a lot of these have. Oh, do you like what you see like? Check the links in the bio. So it's just kind of making it so easy to get sucked into what other people have and then oh, by the way, here's a link, if you want to buy this too.
Speaker 1:
People have always sort of fallen into that trap and I see it, you know, in my circle of friends too. If somebody buys a new house in a friend group, people will kind of follow suit and or a new car or just a new anything, jewelry and outfit. It's not even a conscious decision. I don't think to kind of keep up with or compete, but there's this feeling of like okay, well, you know, this is what other people are doing, so it must be okay. And it's not that it's not okay, it's just.
Speaker 1:
I think so often it's an illusion to how much money people actually have some of the Wealthiest people that I've seen and I get to see that as a financial planner. I get to see what's actually on the balance sheet and what is in the form of credit or mortgage and what is actually in the bank. And that's one of the most interesting things About my profession is getting to kind of look under the curtain at people's full financial picture. I never share and I can't share specifics about any clients I never would. But what I can say that I see as a common theme is that some of the showiest people have the least amount of money saved. It's important to realize that whether people have earned their money, whether they inherited their money, they come from family wealth they just struck it rich with like a business idea or a lottery winning.
Speaker 1:
However people come about their money it's about, it's essential not to fall into the spending to impress trap, attempting to emulate somebody else's lifestyle, versus focusing on your financial goals and priorities. That's so individualized and it's something that sometimes people don't sit down and think about, like what is your ideal life in the future? What are things that bring you joy? I'm a friend who loves to travel and she's always getting on me about not traveling. I'm a total homebody. I admit that I do get out of Michigan for a week or a year there during the cold months when I can, maybe a long weekend to Florida, but I would rather spend more money on my home than have more money to travel. Other people are the complete opposite. I would live in a tiny home or an apartment somewhere and just any chance they get, pack up their suitcase and go exploring. It's completely individualized, so what one person spends on vacation per year versus what somebody pays on their mortgage every month.
Speaker 1:
To compare yourself to others, but to really focus on what it is that brings you happiness. And for some people, happiness is just having money in the bank and not having debt. There are people who they don't care what their mortgage rate is. They want to pay that mortgage down as quick as possible because not having that debt helps them sleep at night. So, relating this whole thing back to financial planning and what it involves, is it so highly individualized? It is, of course, about numbers. We put figures into our financial planning software to come out with probabilities of success, but at the end of the day, there is a level of what helps you sleep at night, what keeps you awake at night when it comes to your finances, what makes you happy as far as how you would spend your money that you've saved. Those things cannot be figured out through comparisons. So I think that's really the key when it comes to not falling into that trap is really focusing on your individualized likes and desires and goals and if you're in a relationship, then that combined and sometimes it is really a compromise over what brings you happiness and what you see your future like and what your spouse sees their future like, so that you can get on the same page. But again, really bringing that internal and focusing on that versus the external, what others are doing, whether it's in your group of friends or on social media or celebrities like Travis and Taylor. So that would be tip number one to avoid that trap.
Speaker 1:
Another thing which I know we've had a few podcast episodes sort of focusing on lately is gratitude. So I see it with my teenagers. I think it's pretty typical for teenagers to focus on what other people have that they don't, learning from that behavior because it seems so ridiculous to parents like here, your teenager talking about oh, they have like the PS5, and I only have the X box and the graphics are better, and you're like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's the first thing you say to them? You focus on what you have. Some kids have no video games, some kids don't have a phone, some kids don't have a warm bed to sleep in at night, right, and I always try and bring my kids back to how lucky they are for all the things that they have. But I also have to remind myself of that because, after watching 22 Reels on people that have more stuff, whether it's the latest makeup or designer clothing or Chanel bags or whatever it is that I've just been like mindlessly mulling over in my scrolling at night. These are the things that bring us back to what's important to us and being grateful and really practicing gratitude for the things that you have.
Speaker 1:
And, lastly, if it's getting to you and you really can't kind of bring it back to what you have and what your goals are, cut it out. Cut it out of your life, whether it's a person who's super, super braggie and flashy with their money and their wealth, a certain social media outlet that just brings you down and you feel less than every time You're on it. Cut it out for a period of time until you're not feeling that way and I know that sounds harsh, but there are people out there that are toppers or, like the Seinfeld episode, it's the best, jerry, the best of everything, right? So the latest and greatest. That can be toxic in a friendship, you know, especially if it's not a close friendship or something where you you get something out of it, if it's just constantly feeling bad about yourself when you're around that person, maybe you need to take a little break from it.
Speaker 1:
If, like Travis and Taylor, you have enough money to be spending on these things whether it's renting out an entire restaurant or buying a brand new car by all means do it. But if you take a good, hard look at what you have coming in, I want you to be honest with yourself and make sure that you are putting enough away for the future. So, whether that's a future purchase like a home, or or whether that is your kids, college education or your retirement and future lifestyle needs, be honest with yourself. Are you maxing out your 401k? Are you contributing to an IRA? Are you putting money in a taxable account? Do you have an emergency savings all these things that we look at in financial planning? If you have all of those and Still have money on top of it and you want to take a trip, buy the shoes by the purse and it brings you joy, by all means do it. But make sure all your needs, both current and future, are taken care of, and if you need some help, please reach out. There is no shame in asking for a little help on getting organized in your finances, and this is a great time of year to do it, before that holiday shopping kicks in and Also, ahead of the new year, start fresh start planning now. It's a great time If you are interested in finishing off the year strong.
Speaker 1:
This week, our year-end planning webinar With Melissa Joy, and I am going to link the registration for that in the show notes below. If you cannot attend live but would like a replay, register and we will send you the replay as soon as it's available. It will also be available on our website, pearlplancom, so do Check it out and give us a follow on social media so you don't miss future events. Thanks for listening and I hope you're having a great day. Thank you for listening to the women's money wisdom podcast. If you found value in our conversations, please take a moment to like, follow and subscribe. Wherever you're tuning in from, it helps us continue to bring these valuable insights every week. Head over to women's money wisdom Dot-com. There you'll find tools, tips and a supportive community to help you gain financial confidence.