Women's Money Wisdom

Episode 246: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome with Coach LJ Gamble

• Melissa Joy, CFP® • Season 4 • Episode 246

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Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough, or that your accomplishments don’t really belong to you?  

 

In this episode, Melissa Joy, CFP® dives deep into the topic of imposter syndrome with coach and speaker L.J. Gamble, who shares her personal journey with self-doubt and offers powerful strategies to manage it. 

Together, they explore what imposter syndrome is, how it affects women in particular, and what you can do to keep it from holding you back in your career and personal life. L.J. emphasizes the importance of celebrating achievements, finding purpose, and reshaping limiting beliefs—all key steps in building confidence and reclaiming your self-worth.  

Key Takeaways: 

  • Understanding Imposter Syndrome: Many people struggle with imposter syndrome without realizing it. 
  • Acknowledge Self-Doubt: Recognizing and accepting self-doubt is the first step to overcoming it. 
  • Management, Not Cure: The goal is not to “cure” imposter syndrome but to learn strategies for managing it effectively. 
  • Celebrate Achievements: Regularly acknowledging accomplishments builds confidence and resilience. 
  • Impact on Growth: Imposter syndrome can be a significant barrier to both financial and professional advancement. 
  • Creating a ‘Hindsight Board’: Visualizing past successes through a ‘hindsight board’ reinforces self-worth. 
  • The Role of CBT: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help change negative thought patterns and boost self-esteem. 
  • Finding Purpose: Discovering one’s purpose is a cornerstone of personal fulfillment. 
  • Workshops for Change: Engaging in workshops and conferences can lead to meaningful personal growth. 
  • Empowerment Conference: The upcoming mini-conference is designed to empower women, encouraging them to set and achieve their long-term goals. 

 

Resources:
Learn about LJ on her website
Connect with LJ on Facebook

 

The previous presentation by PEARL PLANNING was intended for general information purposes only. No portion of the presentation serves as the receipt of, or as a substitute for, personalized investment advice from PEARL PLANNING or any other investment professional of your choosing. Different types of investments involve varying degrees of risk, and it should not be assumed that future performance of any specific investment or investment strategy, or any non-investment related or planning services, discussion or content, will be profitable, be suitable for your portfolio or individual situation, or prove successful. Neither PEARL PLANNING’s investment adviser registration status, nor any amount of prior experience or success, should be construed that a certain level of results or satisfaction will be achieved if PEARL PLANNING is engaged, or continues to be engaged, to provide investment advisory services. PEARL PLANNING is neither a law firm nor accounting firm, and no portion of its services should be construed as legal or accounting advice. No portion of the video content should be construed by a client or prospective client as a guarantee that he/she will experience a certain level of results if PEARL PLANNING is engaged, or continues to be engaged, to provide investment advisory services. A copy of PEARL PLANNING’s current written disclosure Brochure discussing our advisory services and fees is available upon request or at https://pearlplan.com/

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Women's Money Wisdom Podcast. I'm Melissa Joy, a certified financial planner and the founder of Pearl Planning. My goal is to help you streamline and organize your finances, navigate big money decisions with confidence and be strategic in order to grow your wealth. As a woman, you work hard for your money and I'm here to help you make the most of it. Now let's get into the show. Welcome back to the podcast.

Speaker 1:

We are going to be talking all about imposter syndrome, which I think is something that everybody has, although some of us are aware of it, and some of us have it kind of hidden way under the surface. And it comes up all the time for me in my work with people, and I'm so excited today we have a coach who primarily focuses on imposter syndrome. I am joined by LJ Gamble. Lj helps women to overcome imposter syndrome, get unstuck and find a purpose that they're passionate about, and I really am excited to explore that purpose piece because it becomes so important in your work with your own money.

Speaker 1:

Lj, welcome to the podcast. Hello, thank you for having me. So this is such an important topic and, lj, you have the background that we really need to hear. There is so much overlap between the world of mental health and the world of your and your financial choices, and so I want to hear since we're going to get down and dirty on what is going on when it comes to these barriers. First, tell me what imposter syndrome is, and then how did it come to your attention to do the work that you do?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So imposter syndrome it's not like a medical diagnosis or anything. I see it as like it's a mindset and it's where you doubt your abilities or you feel like you're a fraud. Sometimes we're like, oh, people are going to find out, I don't really know what I'm doing and you know things like that. So it's this mindset where you don't internalize your achievements or success. You'll say things.

Speaker 2:

This actually just happened to me recently. I was talking to someone and I was telling them just about my background. I was like, yeah, yeah, lucky, and you know, I was able to get a master's degree. And she's like you didn't get lucky. Right, and she caught me. And she's like you didn't get lucky, you did four years of bachelor's and then you did all another two years for your master's. That's not luck, that's hard work.

Speaker 2:

And so that's why I am so passionate about imposter syndrome, because it's something that I deal with on a regular basis and it's not something that's cured, quote, unquote. It's something that you and I hate to say. It's just something that you live with, but it's something that you learn to recognize and catch over time and once you understand it, you know it's the fact that it's this mindset that when you do have accomplishments and achievements, you don't attribute it to your own hard work. You attribute it to external factors like, oh, I got lucky, oh, the timing was right. You know you don't.

Speaker 2:

And since you don't internalize those achievements, you never get the confidence that you would get from it right. So you don't build your confidence, you're not building up your self worth and, honestly, it impacts self love as well how you view yourself. When you view yourself as someone who is accomplished because you got lucky. That really you know. You don't feel good about yourself and that's why I'm so passionate about it is because, like I said, it's something that really you know you don't feel good about yourself and that's why I'm so passionate about it is because, like I said, it's something that you you have to be able to catch it and redirect it and challenge it. And I had a coach myself and she's like you know, we tend to teach what we need most.

Speaker 1:

And that is.

Speaker 2:

That's a good one. That is so true and that is why I am so passionate about this. As a coach, I am, when I am putting together like these workshops, like an imposter have an imposter syndrome annihilator, a mini workshop, and it's not just about, you know, trying to teach you something, trying to coach you through you, through something it's. I see it as like a mini revolution, and when you're coming to my workshops or my courses, I am helping you create your own mini revolution. So, with the imposter syndrome annihilator, think about how much you hold yourself back because of that fear of failure, because of that self-doubt. You are not living your life full out, you're not doing what you were meant to do. You know, finding a purpose that you're passionate about because you doubt yourself so much. And so I say it's a mini revolution, because we get together and you start to realize like, oh, shit, I am the shit and oh, I don't know if I'm allowed to curse on here, but that's okay. And then, when you have that confidence, that self-belief, you go out and you do things like starting a coaching business, working, putting together these workshops, the mini conference that we're going to talk about later.

Speaker 2:

A year ago I would not have been able to put that together, and I say that because of I didn't have confidence in my abilities. You know, it took a while for me to really look at everything I've achieved in life and say, girl, this is because of your hard work, this is because of your resilience, and that's why I'm just, like, so excited about this and I call it a mini revolution, because once you get unstuck and realize your power and what you're capable of, everything changes. It's literally a revolution how you wake up in the morning and view your day-to-day life, what you the goals that you set, everything changes. And it's just a revolution like you found yourself and you're just ready to like, conquer the world well.

Speaker 1:

I love that.

Speaker 1:

I first learned about imposter syndrome in terms of your career, like, like you might see the job description that asks for 10 bullet points of capabilities and if women didn't have one or two, they would say, oh, I'm not qualified, therefore I'm not going to apply.

Speaker 1:

And certainly like for many of us, our most powerful asset is our own human capital. So if you're impairing your human capital, your ability to earn, because you feel less confident, because you feel that you were lucky instead of the results and your past success was due to your hard work, then that can really significantly impair your ability to ask for a raise, your ability to apply for the promotion, the way that you're seen in the workplace or the way that you see yourself. But then I started, after I learned about the concept, I started to see it in my conversations with prospective clients and what I saw there in the world of financial planning is feeling like you're not enough, feeling intimidated about scheduling even an initial conversation about financial planning because you don't know where to start, feeling like everybody else has it figured out and you don't.

Speaker 1:

And so I think it's so valuable to be talking about this across professional kind of capabilities, because if you have coaches and or financial professionals that are aware of this, they can both acknowledge hey, here's where you're doing a great job, just like you're saying it wasn't luck that got you a master's degree, it was hard work and putting yourself out there right. And also the same goes like here's where you're saving. Well, here you are on a budget, but you need to just know about these other opportunities that may make a difference in your financial life. But if your mindset is broken, then your ability to receive that information and or thrive from it is harmed, and isn't there?

Speaker 2:

Yes, and I love what you said about it can even make you not even make that very first initial appointment.

Speaker 2:

you know just to sit down and talk about it because you're afraid. You're afraid to ask for help because you're like I don't want this person, I don't want to sit here. This woman figures out I have no idea what I'm doing with my money, my finances are a hot mess. And so, yeah, you do. You hesitate to ask for help Because you're like I don't want Melissa to think that I have no idea what I'm doing with my money, which likely isn't even the case, but also it's kind of like going to the doctor and being like I don't want to disrobe, right, like you know the doctor has to do the exam, but you feel so vulnerable because you feel like you, you know and you know.

Speaker 1:

sitting in the chair that I sit in, I see people doing a great job and having areas where they can improve all the time. If, if that wasn't the case, I wouldn't do the work that I the work wouldn't be there. Right, like we don't all have it figured out and you can't just listen to, like you know, a TikTok feed or Instagram to tell you how to manage your money.

Speaker 2:

So my I guess.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I so agree that, like it makes you feel so vulnerable that you really, you know, deserve people that will respect you and and work with you over time, instead of just telling you all the reasons you're wrong. Yes, so have like, since you have this background of your master's in social work, you studied cognitive, behavioral, behavioral therapy. What can influence your? You know, most of us most of us listening probably can identify oh, yeah, like you know, whether it's in one area of your life or all the areas of your life. Yeah, this sounds familiar. I can recognize that I may have or have had, imposter syndrome. But then, if you recognize that and want to work on it, how do you annihilate that LJ? What are some of the options that can really make a difference for you?

Speaker 2:

Yes, so one of the things, the first thing I have my clients do, especially with that imposter syndrome annihilator course, is create what I call a hindsight board and very similar to a vision board, but what it is like they say hindsight is 2020. I have them create a hindsight board where they put up everything they've ever done. If you were gotten an award in eighth grade for the spelling bee, put that up there your high school diploma, being an awesome mom, all of that. The first thing I have them do is create that hindsight board. So now you have a visual. It's not just me telling you, it's not just us sitting here talking about it. You have a visual of everything that you've accomplished. And that is the first step is the awareness. So that is what I do, like right off the bat, and that is what I encourage.

Speaker 2:

If you're listening to this and you're like you know what this sounds like me, you know I'm always afraid that people are gonna find out I don't know what I'm doing. I really don't wanna, you know, reach outside my comfort zone, because then what if I fail? And then people will know I don't know what I'm doing and you haven't internal all out with poster board like I do and like I encourage my clients even if it's just the list, everything, everything you've done that you can remember as far back as like fourth grade put it on there and actually look at it. Just take it all in, because you don't usually do that right. You're not usually taking it in Because you don't usually do that right.

Speaker 2:

You're not usually taking an F.

Speaker 1:

And what I love is Well, and if I can interject like if you're doing that on the financial side. I have never done that before, but I paid off that small student loan. I was able to shop my insurance. I started saving to my 401k and didn't stop the auto escalation. I named the beneficiaries on my account. Didn't stop the auto-escalation I named the beneficiaries on my account. So don't hesitate to do that in your financial life as well, because I do think I love that concept.

Speaker 2:

Yes, it's a great connection. So that's why I'm just so passionate about it, because it's something that I deal with every day, not just myself, but with clients at work, with family. It's such a common thing and it keeps you stuck. It keeps you feeling like you. Like you said. You should have this all figured out by now. What is my purpose, what am I doing? And because you're afraid to ask for help, you just stay stuck. Whether it's's financially, whether it's in your career, you, you're. You don't want people to find out that. You know you don't know what you're doing.

Speaker 2:

Often, what else you see with imposter syndrome is like this perfectionism, paralysis, so kind of. Going back to what you said, where people may even worry about reaching out to you, they may feel like, okay, I need to have all my shit together before I even reach out to her. And the way you see that at work is or, you know, in your day-to-day life it's you hesitate to do things because you feel like it has to be perfect. You know, if it's not perfect, then people are gonna see that you're a failure, you're a loser.

Speaker 1:

You don't know what you're doing and that's why half of it is just showing up, like you know yes, yes, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And I say, like life does not come with a roadmap, and if you got one, it was that damn, those damn ikea instructions that are just pictures with no words and that's all you know. If you got a roadmap, that's all you got. You got to figure this shit out. Yeah and yeah. So I just, and, like you said, imposter syndrome shows up everywhere. It shows up in your finances, it shows up in your career, it shows up in your romantic relationships, it shows up in how you parent. It shows up everywhere. That's why I'm so, that's why I call it a mini revolutionist, because when you really are able to tackle this, every area of your life changes for the better, and that's why I'm so passionate about this.

Speaker 1:

So once you get your so you've done that first step, you've made the list of your accomplishments and done that post-mortem. What are you going to do next?

Speaker 2:

Yes, so the next step would be catching those toxic thoughts. You ever heard of a? What are you going to do next? Yes, so the next step would be catching those toxic thoughts you ever heard of? Uh, um, what are they called? Oh, a thirst trap. So you know what a thirst trap is? Right, they're like check out this new bike that I got, and when you look at the picture, it's them with, like their butt out, but you don't really see the bike. And so a thirst trap.

Speaker 2:

It's meant to grab your attention and get you to engage. And so when I talk about these limiting beliefs, I call them thought traps, because when you are thinking like, oh, my God, I can't do this, it's getting your attention and it's making you engage in those thoughts, and then it derails your progress. Right, yes, yes. So that's why, once you, you know, get a, do the vision board I'm sorry, not a vision board do the hindsight board, all of your accomplishments. Really just stand there and take it, and I would even say, when you're done, come back to it the next day and see if there's anything you forgot. And so that awareness is the first step and then we start working on what is it? How do you talk to yourself about yourself, and so that is the next step is catching those beliefs.

Speaker 2:

Because, with CBT, your thoughts impact your feelings. Your feelings impact your actions. Your actions impact your outcomes. So if you're thinking I'm an idiot, I can't do this, people are going to find out. Your outcome is going to be exactly in alignment with that. You're not going to reach out to do anything. You're going to be exactly in alignment with that. You're not going to reach out to do anything. You're going to be hesitant to ask for help.

Speaker 2:

So that's why it starts with your thoughts and that's why, right after the awareness, you really seeing what it is, which, of course, is your thoughts you're internalizing it. I immediately go into what are the things that you're saying to yourself? What are these limiting beliefs? Let's catch them, because if your belief is I'm a loser, you're gonna feel bad. You're gonna feel like a loser, and so that's the thought I'm a loser. The feeling is disappointed.

Speaker 2:

The action is because you're thinking that you don't like you said. You won't even apply for a job because you're like oh well, I don't meet two of the 10 and I'm probably not qualified for this anyways. So what's the outcome? You don't get the job, you don't have an advancement in your career, you're not climbing up the ladder, you're not being an entrepreneur, you're not making more money, and so that's why it all starts with your thoughts. It starts at the head, and so that is where that's really where you need to tackle this, and that's where I spend the most of my time in my imposter syndrome annihilator course is patrolling those thoughts even in my own experience.

Speaker 1:

I totally see that.

Speaker 1:

So I can.

Speaker 1:

I do have the ability, I think, to recognize and I almost see it as, like you know, the angel or devil on your shoulder, like you know, the many versions of you, like in the looney tunes, um, is I see it as, like those negative feedbacks, as sometimes I'm like, oh, they just need to shut up, because I recognize them as like a part of me.

Speaker 1:

Yes, that um is not helping and um, you know, I would always assume in those um limiting beliefs and in those thoughts that whatever the worst is, other people would see me as the worst. Like you know, oh, she's never going to, this is overdue and you know, really most people are just appreciative that things are getting done, that they have the always see myself as the least successful in their eyes and things like that. But then if I can compartmentalize that and be like, no, just get it done and then get the feedback from everybody else, it's like thanks for doing that. Like you know, I think that is so important is the ability to recognize when you're being derailed by your own thoughts, is so important.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and that's the hardest part, right, it does make sense. And then you talk about how purpose is really an important factor in your success. So how do you like kind of tease out that purpose and integrate it with the work on your imposter syndrome or, you know, kind of overcoming imposter syndrome?

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

So usually when people are saying, like I'm trying to find my purpose, I don't know what my purpose is. What they're saying is, I don't know what it is, I can do with my limited amount of time on earth. That is going to be meaningful. That is the purpose that they're referring to, and I think that that's beautiful, that people are. You're wanting to leave your mark, you're wanting to leave a legacy, and the women that I work with that is usually what it is. That's when I say, like you know the imposter syndrome and feeling stuck. They've already accomplished so much, they haven't internalized those accomplishments, so they're stuck, feeling like, well, what am I going to do? Like, does my life even matter? I just wake up, go to work, come home, pay bills, repeat. And so they're living this unfulfilled life where they feel like they don't have a purpose. And so, as far as helping them find that purpose, I think that the again, the first thing is addressing those limiting thoughts. But what I also do is I say let's get back to basics, and I'll use myself as an example.

Speaker 2:

Go back to what it is that you love to do. What did you think you were going to be when you as a kid. What did you think you were going to be when you grew up? Right? And for me, I was like, oh, I think I wanted to do like either acting or being like a therapist or something like that. And so what I do is who? What did you want to be before you became who you had to be? So for me, I would have loved to have gone to school and study theater, but I'm like that's not a guaranteed income. You're going to be a struggling artist for who knows how long. So I was like I need, when I go to college, I need to get a job that's going to. I need to have a major where I can be fairly confident. I'm going to get a job right out of college and have money. So I had that was, again, that's who I needed to be, and it wasn't in alignment with my purpose, what I wanted to do with my time on this earth. That is very limited and making an impact.

Speaker 2:

And so I went back to like ninth I'm sorry, fourth grade, when I was like nine years old and I've always been like very extroverted I have ADHD, so very hyperactive and restless and I was like you know what? That is why this doesn't work for me because therapy is very strict. It's, you know, it's a regulated and there's evidence-based practice. There's not a lot of room for creativity as a coach. I have so much room for creativity I am working in like improv, cooking, dance, just so many things that most coaches don't do in there, and that's.

Speaker 2:

I feel like I found my purpose. You know what I'm going to do with my limited time on this earth and being creative and helping people find what it is that they want to do with their limited time on this earth. So I was like wow, it's almost like it's become full, it's like full circle, like all that creativity and like hyperactivity, everything that I wanted to do when I was younger, but then I had to sideline it because, oh, you need to make money, but now it's like no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, you need to make money, but now it's like no, no, no, no, no, no. I want to do what feels good, what you know. My purpose and I tell my purpose in life is to help you find your purpose in life as a coach what a reward, because helping professions really pay you back right in, yes, in terms of your clients.

Speaker 1:

Achievements really reflect upon you, you and your sense of well-being, I bet.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes. So yeah, after that awareness catching those toxic thoughts, the next step in trying to figure out who you really want to be is go back to what it is that you, what did you really love and enjoy before you had to do something else, before you were expected to be somebody else? I can't think of the good wording for it, but before the external, like society's expectations came in well.

Speaker 1:

I think that's a really good way earlier and I I've already forgotten.

Speaker 2:

It's like who go back to who you wanted to be before. You had to become who you needed to be.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, rewrite your origin story, kind of yes, or or honestly like, embrace your origin story perhaps. Well, I think that's a great way to tee up that we're planning for December to have a mini conference that you're planning LJ, but I am so excited to be a guest presenting that as well. Can you tell us a little bit about that and we'll make sure the registration will be live when this episode is released so people can check in the show notes and find a link to find out more.

Speaker 2:

Yes. So I came up with this idea for the conference because we're getting close to the end of the year, you know, which means we're getting close to the beginning of next year, and everyone's always like new year, new you and you know we have these new. We tend to have these New Year's resolutions. We're like on January 1st we're like I'm going to lose weight, I'm going to get on the treadmill, I'm going to take care of you know me and you know my own self-care. And then January 5th comes around and it all went out the window. And I was like man and so I. New Year's resolutions essentially what? Those are long-term goals, typically, right, true. And I was like so many people struggle with setting and reaching their long-term goals. So I was like, okay, what are the most common? What is it that people are typically, you know, wanting to do with their life? And so I'm like, well, typically being healthier, losing weight, getting their finances in order, moving up in their career, exploring entrepreneurship, their self-help. And I was like, oh, my goodness, what if I get all of these experts in one room at one time with the purpose of empowering I can't get that word out Women to actually be able to stick and reach their long term goals. I love it and I was like, oh my God, this is great. So I started reaching out to people to create this mini conference and this is the way we're doing. It is again myself, I am ADHD. Another one of the presenters is also ADHD and even though the conference isn't geared towards people who have ADHD, it's meant to be to give you what you need no fluff, no filler. These are the exact steps that you need to be able to move forward with your long-term goals.

Speaker 2:

So it is December 15th, 2.30 to 4.30. And it's not going to be a two-hour long presentation. We're actually going to do breakout rooms. So the breakout rooms will be about 20-ish minutes. And what I love about this, I think, is a bit it's unique is that those breakout rooms is not just the. You know you coming in and talking about finances. People are actually going to be able to interact with you and it even says on the flyer come with questions.

Speaker 2:

Because this isn't, it's not about us just presenting information to people. You and I and everyone else. We actually want to help them make a chance. We want to see them be successful. Sitting and listening to us talk for two hours is not going to do that, but having those small rooms where you get to be more intimate, where you can get, you could ask a question and have these experts answer it right there on the spot.

Speaker 2:

I love that, I absolutely love that, and so that was something that I really wanted to do with this, because me myself, I don't learn sitting somewhere listening to someone talk, even if it's three or four people just talking at me for a couple of hours. We need that engagement and that is what's going to help you. Like, how often do you go to a business or work conference and you sit there, you listen, you know you get all the swag, you get all, you pick up all the little pieces of papers and all that. How often do you actually follow through and go, go back and read all of that, go and look at all these brochures and everything?

Speaker 1:

you don't do that junk in the junk pile or the junk yeah right. So I'm so excited because I'm gonna have, you know, two or three takeaways that are like great exercises for anybody who attends my sessions to do themselves. It's all virtual, so we have listeners all over the country yes welcome to attend from anywhere, and then it's just such a great framing to kick off the new year of, like you know, to not just make it a resolution but to make it a habit shift or change.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and starting with mindset, like we're discussing today, is so important for everything else, so I cannot wait when can people find you?

Speaker 2:

Yes, I know I'm so excited, Cannot wait.

Speaker 1:

Where can people find you if they're interested in learning more about the work that you do? Lj.

Speaker 2:

Yes, my Facebook page is the best way I am. At the time of this recording. My website's actually under construction, but it's coming back, actually better than ever, so the best way to reach me would be on Facebook. I'm LJ the coach, perfect, and I'll send you the link to my Facebook page as well.

Speaker 1:

Okay, great, we'll make sure to have that in the show notes. And please, everybody, december 15th, check it out. We'll have that link in show notes as well. Lj, thank you for talking about such an important topic. I see imposter syndrome all the time for people and I think, if anything, if you take it away, recognizing those moments of limitation are the first step to conquering them. So please, please, handle yourself, be kind to yourself, but also give yourself the courage to work on that imposter syndrome. Thanks, lj, because thank you so much. Thank you for listening to the Women's Money Wisdom Podcast. If you found value in this episode, the best way you can support the podcast is to forward an episode to a friend or leave a review. Go to PearlPlancom and the podcast link to get all the resources and links mentioned.

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Melissa Joy, CFP

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